Falling back (to Jesus) was easy after a season of having fallen away. The utter and complete emptiness I felt while living in such a faraway place was soul crushing. I had this moment, this scales falling from eyes after a season of true deception moment. I knew the only answer was to return. Greatly shamed and certain that He wouldn’t possibly take me back without a severe beating of some sort, I moved back into Jesus. Prepared for whatever discipline I deserved, I said, “Here I am if You want me.”

He wanted me. From that very first moment of falling back to Him, there was a tenderness He used when dealing with me. What I expected to be discipline turned out to be a season of untangling the web of lies that had formed in my mind and heart. There were consequences for my actions, ones we had to work through over the next few years. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t easy. But the journey through healing was ultimately what helped me to truly see Jesus for the first time in my life.

He accepted me “as is” – no clean up necessary before coming back. In that, I found He wasn’t who I thought He was all along. For many reasons I expected Him to have a heart like mine, one which would remain cold to me until I had paid enough of a price for my failure. Nope – not like me at all. I anticipated Him to constantly remind me of how much I had blown it and how people were hurt as a result of my actions. Nope again. Rather than focusing on the “what” of what I had done, He continually had me focus on the “why.” Why was I lacking so much within me and my relationship with Him that I felt the world might have something better to offer? Those why questions were what we spent countless hours exploring.

For those who have fallen away in any area, great or small, this is the Jesus who awaits your return. He’s not waiting to berate you or remind you of what a failure you are. This tender Jesus who stands with open arms will simply embrace you and help you to pick up the pieces and find restoration. Fall back to that Jesus.

I hope you know this Jesus, the real Jesus, not some man-made image of the people in your life who have let you down or beat you up. If you are in a clean or dirty season, He’s the same Jesus.

Ironically, my greatest “fall,” spiritually speaking, was in the fall. Each year I am reminded of it: cooler temps, pumpkin spice everything, and oh yeah, I blew it! I don’t feel condemned – or convicted even. That’s all forgiven as far as the east is to the west. What it does bring to mind is this: why, why did I fall? Keeping that nearby will help ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

Although my middle name is transparency, that’s not what today’s post is about. This isn’t about my failings specifically, it’s about the set-up for my failure. Trust me when I say: you better know what can and does set you up for a fall. Only in knowing that will you be sure to avoid those landmines.

I fell because I wasn’t on solid ground with Jesus. I was doing church. I was doing religious things. I was a pretty good person. I wasn’t, however, healed of all the crud from my past. Now I’m healed. I wasn’t over the misconception that the world might possibly bring me happiness or fill my empty places. Now I know better. I wasn’t living in the Word. Now I take it in like daily bread. Mostly, I didn’t at all comprehend God’s complete and unfailing love for me. Now I’m saturated in His love – THAT was the game changer.

I would say that I can’t fall now, but I know I can still occasionally “fall for” lies and temptations. I will dare to say this. I don’t think I can ever actually fall away again. I know Jesus too well now. I know He is all that fills me, all that heals me, and all that steals my heart day after day. While tempted by the stuff of this world momentarily, I know that I know only He gives life and love and completion.

Today, you must ask yourself: Am I on solid or shaky ground? Solid allows you to stand. Shaky sets you up for a fall – not the pumpkin spice kind.

Now you: What are you doing to keep yourself secure in Jesus? Do you meet with Him daily? Do you seek Him first in decision making? Do you know that only He fills those empty places? The biggest question in life: Is His love enough for you? I would love to hear from you.

Something interesting happens when God is trying to get my attention. I call it the billboard of my life. It’s as if He takes little clues or sometimes blatantly obvious messages and plasters them all around my life. Everywhere I look, there’s another reminder or some repetition of what He has been saying to me elsewhere. I’m sure this happens to us all, but do we all watch for His, sometimes unusual, leading?

Here is an example of what happened this week:

Wednesday, my son texted me that the verse of the day on the K-Love radio station was “his” verse, Zephaniah 3:17.

Thursday morning, early while the coffee pot filled, I did a quick scan through Facebook for birthdays and critical Facebook stuff. I found this and copied it for Zack. I thought, cool, he will see that God is nudging at him about something.

Once my coffee was ready, I went to do my devotion. Yep, you guessed it. In the current devotional I’m using, that was the exact scripture for that day, Zephaniah 3:17. My version is different from above:

“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 3:17 (NIV One Impact Bible)

I realized, while God may be talking to Zack about something, I know for sure He is opening my eyes up to some new truth. While I read the devotion material that went along with the scripture, nothing major jumped out at me, but I knew something would come eventually. I think I was still too stunned by how it had all come about. The following morning, when reading it again, the Lord led me through some great reminders for this season and even through some acknowledgement of some painful past yuck in my life. The “what” of it only matters to me. That’s my Word from God for the day, what I consider my manna.

What you need to focus on is what is your manna, your daily bread from God? What is God plastering all over the billboard of your life that you may not be slowing down long enough to respond to? If you take time each day to meet with Him, to pursue Him, I promise you He will be found. That’s Scripture! (Jer. 29:13)

So now you:
What’s currently on the billboard of your life? Share here. I’m interested to know.