This question has been on my mind recently: In relationships, am I the pitcher or the glass? Do I pour more often or expect to be filled more often? It’s a question we would all do well to ask ourselves.

While each of us need to be poured into on occasion, the fact is, we need to pour more often. Do we fill our friends and family or drain them? In Romans 12, Paul tells us to consider ourselves with sober judgment. Sadly, I don’t think most people do. It’s far easier to consider others with sober judgment and then soberly judge them. At times it’s healthy to take an inventory of who we are and how we relate to others. Are we growing spiritually (getting filled) and then pouring into others?

This is my challenge to you: Take a look at each of your closest relationships and ask the following questions:

• Do I pour into this person?
  • If yes, what do I pour? Emotional support, spiritual blessings, encouragement, unconditional love, a listening ear, etc…
  • Am I a positive influence?
  • Do I represent Jesus in this relationship?

• Am I a drain on others?
  • Do I expect their time and attention without giving back?
  • Am I a negative influence? Complaining, gossiping, or continually talking about myself?
  • Do I ask for friends to do things for me that I’m not willing to do in return?
  • Am I easily offended?

There is nothing about this exercise that’s comfortable. I think we will all find ourselves to be the pitcher and the glass at various times. But our goal is to be the pitcher more often than the glass. Pray through this. Ask God to open your eyes to your own behavior and expectations.

My goal is to be so full that when I move at all, I splash a little Jesus on the people around me. When I walk by, I want people to think maybe it’s raining. Trust me, I’m far from there, but at least I have a goal. I’m considering myself with sober judgment. That’s the only way change will take place, a reversal of unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Blessings to all,
Lisa